In March 2019, one month before beginning a thru-hiking on the Appalachian Trial, I took time to write down my thoughts…  Here they are…

Excitement.  Anticipation.  Nervousness.  Confusion.  Stress. 

My mid-April start for thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail seemed forever away.  This date that was looming over my remaining time in Atlanta was so distant.  I had all the time in the world until it arrived. 

January 1, 2019 was when my feelings started to swirl around in my stomach.  Excitement, nervousness, stress…  This was when it was officially the year that I was going to hike the Appalachian Trail. 

When you were little, did you ever have a parent or relative ask you, “Do you feel any older?” on your actual birthday?  I never did. It was only one day different from the previous day.  Of course I didn’t feel any older!  Well, for the first time in my life, one day made a huge difference.  January 1, 2019 felt much different than December 31, 2018.  The “2019” is what did it.  That’s what felt different.  I am in Appalachian Trail Class of 2019 and it was finally my year! 

As 2019 rolled by, I started to count the months left.  Three months until D-Day.  Two months until D-Day.  March 15 marked 1 month until D-Day.  One month until I was on the trail heading towards Maine. 

It has been quite the journey getting to this point.  Many times I thought to myself, “What the f*** am I doing?!” 

You see, not only am I leaving behind a secure job and a city that I love, but I am doing it not knowing what’s going to happen afterwards.  My ultimate ideal is that after I compete the trail, I come back to Atlanta, hang out with friends for a little, get my dog from the friend who will be watching him, pick up my car, and then we road trip across the country visiting friends and exploring new places for a while. 

After that, well…  At some point I’ll need to get another job.  Maybe I’ll go back to a corporate job.  Maybe I’ll bum it while working seasonal jobs – ski instructor in the winter, rafting guide in the summer.  Maybe I’ll land somewhere out West.  Maybe I’ll find myself back in Atlanta.  I don’t really know.  For me, that’s both exciting and terrifying at the same time. 

Packing everything away and leaving it all behind without set plans for what comes next is not natural to me.  I like knowing the who, what, where, when, and why of things.  I like planning and knowing what to expect.  That’s also why I think leaving on this adventure will be good for me.  It will help me learn to let go and to relax my need of always knowing.  At least I’m thinking it will. 

One thing that I’m okay with knowing is that I don’t want to look back on my life when I’m sixty years old and think to myself, “I really wish I had done that.”

Yes, I could live the typical, prescribed life of go to college, get a degree, work until I retire, and then move to Florida.  But I don’t want to do that.  I don’t want to wait until retirement age to chase my unconventional dreams. 

I want to live life now.  I want to experience the world now and for the rest of my life.  I don’t want to wait to see it. 

I have spent the last year planning, prepping, and plotting for this Appalachian Trail thru-hike.  Granted, most planning, prepping, and plotting only really began a few months ago, but this trip has been on my mind for the past year.  I’m invested.  I’m going to make it.  About 20% of attempted thru-hikers are actually able to complete the whole trip.  I’m going to be part of that 20%.  I have spent so much time dreaming about the trail, figuring out pre-trail logistics (who will take my dog, what to do with my stuff, how/when do I tell work…).  I am going to make it to Maine.  I’m dedicated to this crazy adventure. 

Excitement.  Anticipation.  Nervousness.  Confusion.  Stress.  This all comes to a head on April 15^th when I put my feet on that trail.

Here goes nothing!  Maine bound beginning April 15.